sarcastic-snowflake:

So every morning I get off the train and start my 20 minute walk to work, and there’s this guy who’s always like 3 steps ahead of me and always beats me to the street corner bc I get stopped by the light and he passes it. but today I was ahead of him for the first time and he RUNS in front of me, turns around and goes “I’ve been winning for 2 months now, can’t stop now, have a good day, see you tomorrow.”  tmrw I swear i’m wearing running shoes to work. 

to every bug i have ever killed i am sorry :/

durbikins:

…sorry that your bitch asses came into my house uninvited

(Source: nahr4lma)

thegreensanitarium:

sees cute animal

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mgsolid:

mgsolid:

HOLY SHIT I FORGOT THE FRIES IN THE OVEN HOLY SHIT

imageMY FRIES

(Source: gurlukovich)

pussyclestroyer:

sexting like

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